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I’m going to introduce you to a phrase that may become the most important phrase in your vocabulary. It’s called the HARD REBOOT.
What is it?
It’s actually a computer phrase. It’s that thing all of us techless weinies do when our computer is acting up. We abruptly shut off the power to our computer and then turn it back on again. The brilliance of this tech savvy move is it allows us to begin again with a clean slate if you will.
Can we do a hard reboot of our lives?
Abso-freaking-lutely.
The very first time I heard this phrase used in a human context was while listening to Charity: Water founder Scott Harrison speak.
Harrison was a bit of a wild man in his 20′s while working as a night club promoter. Alcohol, drugs and sex were a regular part of any typical day for him. But as he neared his 30′s, he became less and less enamored with the lifestyle.
Lurking beneath was a very unhappy individual who had no purpose and was making no meaningful contribution to the world.
One morning while sitting on a beach after yet another night of partying at some exotic worldly location, he abruptly decided that the life he was living was no longer working.
And in an instant, he did a HARD REBOOT. He quit his job and took a volunteer position [he had to pay his own expenses and did so for 2 years] on a Mercy Ship that performed surgeries for the poor in small remote African villages.
The rest as they say, “Is history.” What followed was the founding of Charity: Water, which has revolutionized the way charities are now being run.
To get all the details of his amazing story and that of Charity Water, carve out some time this weekend to watch this video. It’s incredibly inspiring. For a shorter version go to Scott’s story.
So how do we get to the point of a hard reboot? Well in order to do that we need to understand why we don’t do a hard reboot.
Dysfunction vs Empowerment…
On the most simplistic of levels, a hard reboot happens when the realization is made that we can no longer travel the path that we are currently on.
That path may involve a relationship; either with someone else or ourselves. It might be a career we have chosen, as it was in Harrison’s case. Or it may be with the path we are currently traveling with our health.
But there is just one catch. A hard reboot is WAY easier than it sounds because of one little thing: our freaking emotions.
That’s why it is so easy for us to see that the relationship our friend is in is doomed (we have no emotional ties to that relationship) and yet we can’t see it in our own relationship (damn you emotions!!)
When our emotions are running the show (our relationship, career or our eating habits for example) we live in a state of dysfunction. The formula looks like this…
A hard reboot is not possible in the above scenario until we are able to flip the equation. Some call this hitting rock bottom. I disagree with that notion. It is simply that moment where our emotions are no longer allowed to run the show (YOU’RE FIRED emotions!) and our rationale self takes over and begins to deal in a new currency: FACTS.
The paradox of success…
OK so let me put aside my Freudian psychobabble and give you and actual example of how I implemented a hard reboot in my own life this past week.
I will write about this in another shift, but there is a myth out there that success breeds success. When it comes to how we look however, I do not believe that is the case for many people (it is why statistics show that 95% of people who lose weight put it all back on again).
It can, if that success is properly managed over time, but success also breeds a sense of subtle recklessness as well that slowly creeps in and begins to erode the success we once had.
You know what I am talking about here. We start testing our limits of what we can actually get away with. Maybe it’s OK for us to have bread once in a while. Maybe we don’t have to work out as often as we thought. Maybe we don’t need to track our results anymore. Maybe we don’t need to spend a Sunday morning preparing our weekly meals in advance.
It is what I call the paradox of success. The more success we have, the less disciplined we feel we need to be.
That’s exactly where I found myself last week as that was the first time I realized I had put some weight back on. Not a lot of weight, but enough to know I didn’t like where I arrived.
And so I decided it was time to implement a hard reboot.
Step #1 to a hard reboot…
Determine what has changed between the time when you were most successful and now.
For me that is a period of about 8 months.
I opted to use my journal and brainstorm a list of everything I could think of that had changed. I came up with 17 things worth mentioning here. I was blown away by the sheer volume of changes I had made without even realizing I had done so. Damn you success!!
Here is my list…
- BEFORE: drinking coffee black
- NOW: drinking bulletproof coffee (butter and coconut oil added)
- BEFORE: ate one big salad every day
- NOW: I have had weeks where I had no salad at all
- BEFORE: no ice cream for the first 8 months
- NOW: Had it 4 or 5 times the past few months
- BEFORE: ate red meat 3 or 4 times/week
- NOW: I was eating it 7 to 10 times/week
- BEFORE: sprinted once a week as part of my workout
- NOW: due to a pulled muscle in my glute no sprinting
- BEFORE: 5 or 6 workouts/week at 30 minutes or less
- NOW: Workouts are all over the freaking map
- BEFORE: one workout dedicated solely to abs/core (when the abs feel tight I feel lean)
- NOW: can go 3 or 4 weeks and not realize I didn’t actually do it.
- BEFORE: drinking 1 or 2 cups of coffee/day
- NOW: 3 or 4
- BEFORE: tracked my eating for almost all of 2011
- NOW: attempting to do it intuitively
- BEFORE: once a week I used my crock pot to make a soup which gave me 5 quick meals
- NOW: gone about 4 months without using the crock pot
- BEFORE: Sensible portion sizes with my meat (about the size of my hand)
- NOW: I eat two of everything…2 chicken breasts, 2 steaks, 2 pork chops
- BEFORE: after shopping I would portion up my meats into single servings and then freeze them
- NOW: Cooking and eating in batches. (last week I cooked up a package of 3 chicken breasts and ate all 3 even though 2 were supposed to be for lunches later in the week…doh!)
- BEFORE: a balance of about 50-50 cooked to raw foods
- NOW: some days it’s 100% cooked foods
- BEFORE: drank 2L of water a day
- NOW: I am like a camel. I can go a whole week and not drink any
- BEFORE: breakfast consisted of 3 eggs and veggies
- NOW: 4 eggs and veggies
- BEFORE: workout before 12pm
- NOW: workout at some point in the day (fingers crossed)
- BEFORE: took a picture of myself everyday for 3.5 months
- NOW: nothing in 8 months
Step #2 of the hard reboot…
Be prepared to give everything up and start again from scratch.
Last Sunday, I made the decision to revert back to my original ways for everything with a few minor exceptions. I explain a few others and the insight I learned.
- bye bye bullet proof coffee
That was a little tough to give up because I really liked it, but what I came to realize is ALL DAIRY is bad for me and my body type and that includes butter.
- bye bye 3 treats/week
I actually never deviated from the 3/week rule but I did notice the quality of my treats were starting to change. And I had another thing bugging me. While 3 treats helped me from exploding and binging, I also walked a fine line. Every time I had a treat I craved more and it could be a real battle at times to control the treat beast that roared within.
So two weeks ago I decided that I was not going to have any treats at all….EVER! My rationale is simple. The reason I don’t eat them in the first place is because they are toxic for my body. My logic to reward healthy eating by eating crappy food would be equivalent to a person decides to reward himself with a cigarette to celebrate being a non-smoker. My rationale is equally flawed in this area and has to change.
I have resolved instead to make healthy treats. I will continue to play with this idea moving forward.
- sprinting once a week
I still have that glute problem but it only bothers me on flat ground sprints (I think because I am running so close to the sound barrier that my poor ass just can keep itself in one piece.)
What I learned is I can run stairs and it doesn’t bother me and stairs is actually a better workout because I am leveraging gravity as well.
- tracking my food data
I am not going to go back to using the online food journals I was using in the past. They served their intended purpose back then. What I am doing now is journaling first thing every morning. The first list is things I was grateful for the day before and includes my eating and exercise. The second lists those things that need improvement. That is much more effective for where I am now and I will continue with that method.
- pictures everyday
I’m not taking pictures everyday like I once did. That is overkill. But I realize there is incredible power in using pictures to track my progress and so every Sunday morning I am taking a total of 5. The plan is to do this for the rest of my life.
Step #3 in the hard reboot…
Validate what you have learned.
In hindsight it is clear I got duped by my success. To my credit however, I caught myself very early so the damage is minimal and easily repairable. But it has been a MASSIVE LEARNING EXPERIENCE.
Here are 3 things I learned that will serve me well moving forward.
- the more success you have the more management skills you require to maintain it
It’s clear from my list above that I had no management system in place. Things were mindlessly added because I had no clear system in place to help keep me conscious of my decisions.
- my workout is the most important thing I must accomplish each day
It dawned on me that my workout is the most critical aspect of my success. Every other aspect of my life stems from that. When I do it I have more energy, more joy, more creativity and I feel leaner in general. But I also realized that I HAVE to get my workout done first thing in the morning before I do anything else. I learned I expel a tremendous amount of negative energy when I don’t do it in the morning because I spend my whole day thinking about when or if I am going to do it. Even when I think I am not thinking about it I am and that sucks the life out of me unknowingly.
This never occurred to me before, but has been a HUGE insight.
- being mindful of this whole process promotes leanness
It has only been 6 days, but I can already see dramatic results. And I believe one of the reasons for that is the mindfulness I have to the process. Each morning I commit 1 hour of Dean time (I have created my own time zone known as DST: Dean Standard Time) just writing in my journal answering 3 main questions.
- What was I most proud of yesterday?
- What needs improvement?
- What do I intend to commit to today?
There are other insights, but I will share those in later shifts.
Announcements…
Before I leave you with your task for today, let me make a few quick announcements.
- The Make Shift Happen Show launched on Wednesday and today appeared on 3 top 10 lists (Canada, the US, the UK). Thank you to everyone who contributed questions and to everyone who listened to it. You can listen to it or subscribe here, here or here.
- I quietly launched the first episode of Make Shift Happen TV. You can see that below. It’s only 5 minutes in length. This will also be a new weekly feature.
If you want to subscribe to the channel you can click here. - I will be opening up registration to my membership group called SHIFT+. It currently has 107 members and has been closed to the public for the past 3 months. It will be opening again in a few days. Stay tuned for the special offer that will be coming.
Tools and Tasks…
Your tools…
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[Note: post audio will be available Saturday. iTunes podcast will be available Tuesday. Video will be available Wednesday.]
Your tasks…
1. Print off the document (PDF available above) and read it with a pen handy. Make notes of ideas that resonate and original ideas that come to mind. Remember this is like a book I am releasing one chapter at a time so when you are done store them in a binder or folder for future reference.
2. Decide if you are in need of a hard reboot in some area of your life. If, like me, your health has slipped away from you then it is time to reel it all back in and take control once again. If you decide a reboot is in order, start by comparing a time when things were good with your current situation. Brainstorm as many changes over that time as possible.
3. Once you have completed your list commit to the hard reboot. Let all those things go that are holding you back and start again. Be sure to create some rules and hypotheses to test as you move forward on your new journey. Follow my example above as a guide, but make this journey uniquely you.
Question…
I will be addressing specific questions in the podcast and sharing any good stories (Do you have a successful story of a hard reboot?) that are left in the comments. When you leave a comment be sure to use your full name and list your website if you have one so I can acknowledge both if I use your question.
[Podcast is recorded on Monday so get your questions and comments in before then.]
To making shift happen,
Dean
Dean,
If you’re going to write your whole blog about ME…you should at least SAY “Hey, this is all about Michelle!”
Seriously…this so perfectly sums up how I’ve been feeling recently. “Subtle recklessness”….YES! I’ve had so much success in the last 12 months (currently -135 lbs) that I found myself justifying a treat here or a bite of that there. In the first 6 months of paleo I would have NEVER even considered eating/drinking those things.
And I too did a HARD REBOOT this past week and I feel great.
I also “fired the expert”…who said to not work out in the morning. I tried that for almost a month. I love my morning workouts. They set the tone for my whole day. So, I’m back to being the expert on ME.
Anyway, just wanted to share that with ya!
It’s MD you mention the whole working out in the morning thing. I have heard that too…that we should not because our cortisol levels are higher in the morning. But I have concluded my cortisol levels are even higher the longer I stall on my workout and even HIGHER when I blow the workout off completely. There are far more benefits for me to get it done as early as possible.
I am with you guys on the working out in the morning/elevated cortisol levels deal! I have thought about it myself, but the it was fleeting… If this Mama Bear does not get it done early, then forget it! It’s better to get it done than not at all. When mom is happy, everyone is happy. Ha!
Ditto Michelle, if I don’t work out in the morning, it won’t happen;) I’m getting it done before work begins now too and feel amazing when I get to the office. I love the way you say, “getting back to being an expert on ME”
Hi Dean,
Love this post.
There are many areas of our life that need a re boot.
You have made a path to do this and your personal experience resonates with me.
I am 4 mths in with my health journey, following a Paleo template with CT thrown in.
Although weight loss was not my major issue, the health benefits are amazing, I am medication free for my Chrohns and my energy levels and general health are heading towards excellent, I know to well how I can think this success allows complacency to creep in.
I did a re think (re boot) just a week ago on some of the food items that were creeping in to my diet. And alas you write about.
Keep up the great posts, you are an inspiration.
Barry.
Clearly great minds think alike Barry
I love Re-Think btw!!
Love this article, Dean. It describes my situation. I got in shape from last August to this january, still had a few kilos to lose but was well on track and stayed there over Christmas. Felt cocky that even Christmas hadn’t thrown me off track, so started having a few more snacks and a then few more and a slice of bread here and there, more milk in more cups of tea, double sized meals of, yes, healthy foods, and next you know, weight started to sneak on, and I could’t see what the heck I’d changed. I wish I’d had your article then as it took me almost ten weeks of bad decisions to get back on track. At our age, you just have to stay focused. Just downloaded your podcast. Keep them coming!
I like what you said about feeling cocky Mary. It’s very true. I had this sense of invincibility…like I had it all figured out. This was a nice humbly BUT valuable learning experience.
This post truly struck a chord with me and actually has caused me to cry. Not sure why … other than the fact I feel I’ve found someone who really gets me! Thank you SO much for the great work you’re doing! I have a lot of work to do to make my shift happen … but I (with you) finally have the tools to make that happen. THANK YOU!
i made you cry. Interesting Vickie. I would be curious to know more what struck a cord with you. Email me at dean@makeshifthappen.org if you feel like sharing.
I really love what you have to say! You seem to understand what people go through…the little daily things like dealing with OTHER people’s reactions.
It’s tough to deal with people that can ‘eat anything and a) not have bad health problems and b) not get fat’! IT’S NOT FAIR! It’s easy if it’s fat people eating bad things, but NOT skinny, lean people. THAT’S tough!! :/
Otherwise, eating healthy is AWESOME! Just wish there was more support (in daily life). Plenty of it online, but would love if people in my life would be more supportive…sigh.
Well I would say this Zorica. I see my problems as a blessing because it will benefit me in my later years. And just because people can get away with eating crap now with no “apparent” health risks does not mean it won’t catch up with them at some point. how many times do we hear people say, “It’s such a shame they passed away so suddenly. The appeared to be in such good health.” Appearances can be deceiving.
Yes, I always tell myself that about the future. I know that while I’m still under 30, then people just can’t seem to accept what I want to put into my body. I encountered a guy in his 40′s who explained how he doesn’t drink. So…he simply didn’t drink. Everyone was totally fine with that and no one made him feel bad for not drinking, AWESOME! When I saw that I did realize that in time it will actually get easier. I also keep thinking of myself when I’m 80 vs. someone else (even the skinny ones) where I am mobile and fit while they are weak and ill. The back end of life is pretty hard for many people to even consider since of course it’s the present. For me, I am able to appreciate the back end more so, which is a lucky skill for me.
Thanks again, and most times I do feel good anyways in what I’m doing.
p.s. Hmmm…no bp coffee, tell us how it’s going. I guess test it again but with the same schedule, see what happens. I suppose use it more for performance enhancing?
Take care!
Nope no testing. It’s gone. I’m simplifying my life and my eating. I like coffee black anyhow.
Great post, is a big kick in the bum for me since I’ve been sliding back down the slope towards binge eating and no exercise and thinking ‘poor me I don’t know why this isn’t working anymore,’ whilst munching on fruit and nut chocolate and watching four hours of TV without moving! Brilliant, cheers sweetie.
We all need a Kick in the bum Karen. But you are right. We all love to play the victim don’t we. I no that about 95% of the problems created in my life are my own doing. When I start with that it’s amazing how much progress I make.
Thanks again, Dean. It’s been a while since I visited your blog, but so glad I did this morning. I saved your email for some reason yesterday, now I know why I did. Yup, time for a hard reset. Feeling very dissatisfied with myself the past several months. One reason is that the job change I have been trying to make has really drug on, but I am sticking to my guns because I know it is a SHIFT in the right direction. Thanks for all your insight!
Maryann Ramirez
Career changes are TOUGH maryann. I can certainly vouche for that. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to attempt them and even more to stay true to finding a passion you can make an living off of.
Another great post! I can absolutely identify with subtle recklessness. But I had to add a step to make the reboot work for me.
When I slip into recklessness, it’s almost always because something was broken to begin with. Either my thinking, or lack of planning…something created a vacuum into which my best habits were sucked. I sat down and identified as part of step two what created that vacuum. What caused the downshift? What stopped working? My downshifts are almost always negative, but there are usually positive elements I can take away from them to make my well thought out plan more effective so: in my downshift to recklessness, what specifically worked better than my well thought out plan? Are there ways I can incorporate the specifics into my well thought out plan to make it more flexible?
I am a much more rational thinker than emotional, but find it’s easy for me to jump right to “reboot” without thinking through the causes of the downshift first. When I do that, I find myself right back in negative behavior because I didn’t identify and deal with the vacuum first.
Love what you said Peggy about jumping to reboot without the validated learning. I have done that in the past too. I find it very exciting know to come away with validated learning. I find I am much less likely to repeat my errors this way and I make much more consistent progress that is sustainable.
Loved your post, Dean, and you’re commitment to being totally honest with yourself and us, as well. Just reading the things that have changed for you has given me ideas of Shifts to try for the first time.
I’d started taking photos last week, and although they were quite alarming and even put me into a funk for a day or two, I think they’re also going to be quite helpful.
I made many changes last week, including totally eliminating dairy and treats and alcohol and cutting back on red meat, and I’m already feeling a significant difference. But because I can start to feel cocky after only one good week, the photos are especially helpful. I took my second set this morning and although they showed improvement, they also reminded me that I have a long way to go and that Cocky is not the land where I belong. So I packed up and moved back to Grateful/Careful-burg. Thanks as always for your inspiration!
I like that you mentioned the cockiness factor. That’s exactly what I had creep in. And what I love about pictures is that it tells a story that is VERY different from our perceived reality. I want to write more about this but I know believe that the top 5 things we can do to change how we look is take pictures. And just think, this would not have started had you and I not chatted last week
Wow! Really great, it’s has help me put something’s in perspective. I have alway been able to loose just enough to prove I have changed then I would stop and I could not figure out what went wrong.same thing has happen now. I started adding more junk back into my life, which tends to happen in the summer months, because I am sooooo busy. I am en sign language interpreter and I work at a high school, where I am a Cheerleading coach and I interpret football for 2 students after school, so my workout is gone, my cooking don’t do, I work eat and sleep. So this will help me sort out a lot and adjust my plan for the busy season in my life. Thanks a bunch.
Great insight Vanessa. Honestly I believe that is exactly what we all do. I think there is a human gene that somehow makes us think we can “go home again” meaning go back to our old ways and not have them affect us anymore…truth is WE CAN’T. LOVE that you are adjusting your plan. Might I suggest you pick a day (Sunday’s) and revisit what worked what didn’t and what you will do moving forward for this week.
Hey Dean, I’m so glad you talked about this. My hard reboot is back to portion control. When I started to experiment with Paleo nutrition last December, I felt better in so many ways but actually got bigger. I was watching so much what others were doing, eating fat and red meat til the cows came home! As my beloved body parts that I want to trim down got larger, that really got to me and made me think that maybe my body just can’t handle so much fat/red meat, so I cut it back and am seeing results. I was also working so hard to perform the recommended excersises and ended up hurting myself, so I’ve made some big adjustments there too. It’s all about learning to listen to my body and make shifts along the way. I’m loving this lesson style Dean!
You bring up some brilliant points. There is a MYTH out there that Paleo is a free for all. NOT SO! Especially for me (and you). And I too realize that I need to limit my intake of red meats. This notion out there that we can run wild with bacon etc is a BIG reason people aren’t having success with this way of eating and living. Keep me posted Chriss!!
I love your shifts and this one is particularly significant for me right now. I am healing from terrible pneumonia that put me in the hospital for a week and have been recovering at home for the last 4. I have been very limited in activity but expect to be released to do as I feel when I see the Dr. this coming week. I think I got so scared from being so sick, that I gave myself all kinds of permission to deviate from my former eating plan. Physically, I couldn’t do much activity but that shouldn’t have been a reason to throw all reason to the wind! Emotions(fear) played a huge role in all of this as I have never been that ill before. Now I feel ready to commit to getting healthier and slimmer so I can live the life I want and need to. Your writing and other’s comments are wonderfully helpful. Thank You!
LOVE this Carole…”I have myself permission.” To be fair to you we all do this. We find ways to rationalize our own behavior. But as you have noted what we are really doing is giving ourselves permission to fail…when we begin to see it this way we can begin to catch ourselves quicker and recover much quicker.
Love the transparency, DD. Great work, once again.
I have to think about this one for a bit. When I am experiencing high levels of success in the area of health, wellness, and desired leanness, something happens to me. I used to think it was self-sabotage of some sort… maintenance is almost always a problem. I either did one of two things:
1) A stressful event(s) derailed me. I have addressed this by using some of the recommended shifts from your book.
OR
2) What I best describe as “self-sabotage”.
I am confused as to why I always sabotage my achievements. Each time, I have no one to blame but myself. Was it that I struggled with feeling like I deserved to experience the success? Was it a self-worth problem? Never in a million years did I think that I would struggle with this! However, I’m still not sure that this is the answer. I never had the feeling that I had “arrived” or was too cocky… it was something else.
This post is one I will read/listen to about 10 more times. I will need this to digest the material and put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Congrats again on all of your successes in this new format.
ah yes self-sabotage. I believe that is where our ultimate success lies. WE (each of us) are our own problem. We think (hope) the solution lies “out there” but this journey is about unraveling who we REALLY are and why we do what we do. Not easy to do but necessary so we can experience sustained success rather than this up and down elevator ride we happen to be on. Great comment though KS.
Dean,
Thanks for sharing this. I was doing well with the paleo lifestyle, even while dealing with depression, then the holidays hit and boy howdy, did I fall off the wagon. Oh, in addition to the depression, did I mention there were financial difficulties? No? Well, let’s just say that I’ve been getting my butt kicked by the economy for the last few years.
To make a long story short, I went to put on my shorts when we had a nice sunny weekend, only to discover they didn’t fit. NONE of my summer clothes fit. Talk about a wake-up call.
At least now, I’m taking medication for the depression, and it’s made a world of difference. Now, I just need to address the dietary and fitness issues. Hence, the need for a hard reboot. The problem? My husband, who eats fast food and wants all the things that I swore never to bring back into my house. ::sigh:: If the granola bars are there, I eat them, even though I know I shouldn’t. I tell myself that I’m only going to munch on veggies when I get the munchies, but of course, that doesn’t happen. It’s amazing, the excuses I can come up with to avoid eating what I know I should be eating.
I am trying to get back on track, but boy, is it hard. That little voice, the one that tells you how much of a loser you are, just doesn’t shut up. I know it’s simply a matter of taking the next step to put me on the right track, but I’m my own worst enemy.
Hi Lori, I know it can be a challenge when others in the house are not eating as you wish to. I began eating ‘Primal’ a month before my husband, then he came on board, was eating great for 8 weeks, and since he has lost such a lot of weight and everyone we know is commenting on how fit he looks, he is now slacking off – so I showed him Dean’s article. I found Dean’s assertion in his book profound – that it’s not as much about will power as it is about planning ahead, anticipating situations which are ‘hot spots’ for you. For instance, I found if a tub of butter was on the bench, I would eat teaspoons of it during the day as I walked by. Now I keep it in a cupboard (it gets too hard in the fridge) and being out of sight, it’s also out of mind. Also, with 4 kids at home (one has left home), 3 of them teenage girls, they eat only partially primal/paleo. I allow those at school to take one cookie/cake snack to school (that’s less than most kids have) and so what I have done to keep temptation of these snacks from myself is: I have one lidded box in my bedroom in which I keep their non-perishable snacks (bought cookies, dried fruit in zip-lok bags, any candy they’ve requested for a special occasion that week) and they take one item out a day for school. I don’t touch it. I have one plastic container in the fridge also with perishable goods for them – cake wrapped in 1 serving slices for example). All of these being out of sight and designated for one purpose, I don’t touch them.
Perhaps you could have a box of the snacks your husband eats, for his use only.
I fully understand the strain it can bring on a marriage if you are trying to dictate his eating. The relationship has to come before the food, in my opinion. Therefore I commit myself to eating paleo, and cook so for the family, and if they want to comply that’s their business (I’ll cook grain free, sugar free, but if they want to go out and buy icecream later, I’m fine with that, as long as it is put away out of sight). They know paleo is healthier and I’ll support them as far as they want help with it, but I won’t nag if they choose not to. That attitude brings respect and acceptance into the home, which is really important to me. Meanwhile, I just keep their snacks separate and ask that they comply with that. I ask them not to leave butter or snacks on the bench, I ask them, if they bake a cake, to cut it and store it in 1-serve packages as soon as it cools, or I will eat the whole thing (that makes them hurry to comply). With a busy household of 6, this works perfectly well for us. Just remember, your success with paleo, or with anything for that matter, can’t depend on another person (your husband) being willing to come on board. You can’t base your success on another person’s actions whom you can’t control. Your success has to come from yourself alone. All the best with your challenge. You can work it out, girl!
what a great reply Mary!! I want to talk to you sometime and learn more about your story. YOu on skype?
I always wanted to figure out how to Skype…so now’s my chance. I’ll work it out this week and let you know when I’ve got it working. I’m in Australia so I hope you can understand my broad Aussie accent.
Mary, that was absolutely excellent help you gave to Lori! I am Paleo while my husband and two sons, 18&20 years old, support what I do, they very much eat the SAD. All I ask of them is that they too properly store their foods, especially the things I have problems with. I have a shelf in my pantry with all the things I love that are good for me, all individually packaged servings for quick go-to foods. I will add that once every week I allow and plan for myself to enjoy one non-Paleo meal and dessert. This keeps me totally sane and hasn’t derailed my progress. In fact, the only thing that did derail my progress was when I was eating way too much bacon and over sized portions of red meat. The portion distortion gets me every time! Thanks Mary and you can do this Lori, there are many of us living Paleo in a non-Paleo home.
I liked that line Lori. We are our own worst enemy and if we don’t address that then we become a victim to our own lives.
Might I suggest you first address the foods that shouldn’t be in the house. You need to get your husband on board with this and you need to really find deeper reasons why you should not be eating those foods that derail you. I’m going to talk more about that in the podcast
Thanks for sharing. Wonderful.
Dean: Really helpful info and great insights!! I appreciate the commentor’s posts and your responses…Good Stuff,too!
To funnel in the information, then decipher which next shifts will make ” success “, for me, all part of the journey.
It never occurred to me to work with shorter time blocks. I like the 2-3 wk time frame as a benchmark for shift results. I was working with much longer time frames. I’m in that never-ever-give-up group. So far, 15 yrs of never giving up and making shifts. I still haven’t made the shifts to balance my metabolism and lose the fat, the journey continues.
Thanks
Dean, I have NEVER read a blog post and wanted to print it out and use it not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me (if they ask, of course!)before. You really struck a chord in me. I have a long list of “I want”s but never really did enough to get all the way there. I’m pretty athletic, almost at a healthy weight, nearly paleo and mostly in good health. WTF am I waiting for?!?!
Thanks for the wake up call.I will put a plan in place NOW.
Dean, Thank you so much for your real, sensible and relevant information. I have been on a successful weight loss journey for 11 years now which has turned into me working in the fitness and nutrition industry, but I still continue to deal with these same issues. I read a lot of “self help” looking for much needed inspiration frequently, but your posts seem to ALWAYS hit home with me. So again, thank you for forging a new path!!! I don’t always read new blog posts from people I follow, but when I see one in my inbox from you, I know it will be GREAT, and it always is!!! Thanks again!!
Yep, yep, this definitely hit home. I felt like we had changed so much: no bread products, or chips, crackers, cookies or desserts. No cereal for breakfast. So why weren’t we losing weight? Hmm. Could it be that our portion sizes are too large and I am drinking a glass of wine or having a beer every day when I didn’t use to? Why yes, it could be. It does no good to cut out the dessert if you are going to put a beer in it’s place! Or to say, well I am eating no grains, so I get to eat a whole lot more of the other foods. A person can stay heavy on a paleo diet if they eat too much of it!
Hi Dean, You said you wouldn’t mind chatting on Skype re: one of my blog reply posts. If you want to set up a time I’m in Sydney Australia. Just email me and I’ll give you my Skype name. Best wishes. Mary
Dean, your “treat beast” comment is hilarious and sad at the same time. It definitely reminded me of a Gretchen Rubin post about figuring out if you are an abstainer or a moderator:
http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2011/04/quiz-are-you-a-moderator-or-an-abstainer-when-trying-to-give-something-up/
Her theory is that some people CAN just have the one square of chocolate or the 100 calorie pack of whatever. Then there’s the rest of us. What’s the difference between a box of 100 calorie ice creams and a pint of ice cream? A whole lot more wrappers in that day’s trash!
So, as much as I and you would like to be a moderator, I think we are abstainers.
I just hope I can keep with my bulletproof coffee for now.
Hi Dean,
Thanks for sharing your tips and thought process about how to go about and really MAKE change in our lives. I’m a little behind in the podcasts, but just listened the one on the Hard Reset and it really resonated with me. I inadvertantly do the idea of a hard reset 1 – 2x per year, because over time I notice that I let old habits creep back in and get off track. I’ve been following a Paleo lifestyle for 3+ years now and each reset is easier that the previous one. I relaly like the idea of taking pictures too, I’m not 100% where I want to be right now, and I think that the feedback from the pictures is a great idea – not daily, but weekly – I think will be a very powerful tool. What’s next for me is to figure out how to do this with work/activity/training since food is much more tangible and easier to control and grasp. I like the accountability that the photos provide, you can hold yourself accountable through many of the actions that you talked through – creating plans for hot spots, keeping up the habits that made you successful in the first place, and taking photos so you have some hard facts!