Photo by: J Sheree Johnson
So there were some interesting posts that came out this past week from a few women who run in the Paleo space. Hayley Mason of Primal Palate has shared the fact she has some thyroid problems that are making her Paleo journey less than enjoyable at the moment.
Melissa Joulwan put out a post earlier this week [-->Click here] where she talked about her recent weight gain and how she is trying to deal with it. And Laura, who runs Ancestralize Me, put something out titled “Paleo Women are Phat” based on a comment a male made about the women he saw at Paleo FX.
I realize women are held to a ridiculously higher (and stupid) standard than men are in this regard (boggles my mind that fat guys sit around and point out the flaws in women who look 10 times better than they do), but my experience at Paleo FX was that that Paleo People are Phat. And I don’t say that like I have arrived and others haven’t (will address this a bit later) nor do I say that to mock the efforts of those who I know are desperately trying to change how they look. It’s worth repeating again, even though I have had some good success with the Paleo lifestyle, I still find it f#$%king hard.
Ok that’s the last time I will drop the f-bomb in this write up. To be honest, I seldom swear. I usually reserve it for those moments when I do something completely idiotic like yesterday when I was talking to a gurl at Starbucks and then proceeded to dump my coffee onto my crotch. My self talk would have made Howard Stern blush. Or like the time where I took out $80 from the cash machine (on two separate occasions) and walked away without taking the money. [That story can be found-->here.]
Fortunately on both occasions someone was kind enough to take my money and find a way to spend it without me. On joyous occasions such as these I do find a few colorful adjectives to use to sum up what I think of my actions.
But I digress. As a male I want to weigh in with my own personal experience that may seem un-male-like and in many respects un-paleo-like. Just to be clear, I am not bashing Paleo. In fact it is the complete opposite. I KNOW it is the optimal diet for me to lead, as Jack Kruse would say, “an optimized life.”
I also believe that it’s core message [-->eat real foods, get sufficient sleep, reduce stress and move<--] is vital to anyone and everyone who is looking to improve a lifetime of sh*tty health and immense frustration of possessing a body that does show the return on investment that most people sink into it to change how they look and how they live.
Why I find Paleo hard…
Before I share why I find this hard let me tell you what I DON’T want you to do. DON’T use my write up…
- to rationalize why you haven’t been doing what you know you must. You and I have done that our entire lives.
- to lower your standards or personal expectations. In fact I want you to do the opposite.
- as ammunition against others who see things differently. This is my perspective only based on my expectation that I will be the EXPERT ON ME.
OK lets explore some of these bad boys.
1. The volume of information is overwhelming…
There are over 300 active Paleo-like blogs out there that are bombarding us with information every stinkin’ day. And we all falsely believe that that the more information we have the more likely change is going to happen.
I have since discovered it is the exact opposite. The more information we have the less likely we are going to act at all because we are being pulled in a million different directions. The reality is very few of us actually act at all on the information we get. Barry Swartz talked about this in his book, The Paradox of Choice.
To illustrate the point, he refers to a study of jam choices (so un-Paleo Barry). Given a choice between choosing a jam from an offering of 6 compared to an offering of 24 jams, it was discovered that people were less likely to make a decision at all when trying to wade through 24 different jams.
What does this mean for you?
Well for starters back away from the free jam!!
I can tell you what I have done. I have unsubscribed from almost every blog I was once subscribed to. I now only focus on a few with a message that resonates with my outlook on this. What I am more interested in now are people who have gotten results by testing and following their own ideas. I don’t care if they are an MD, PhD, or a Harvard grad, if they were never fat or they can’t make this lifestyle work for themselves then I’m probably not going to follow their stuff. (Remember that is my criteria…this doesn’t mean it should be yours.)
Recommendation…
1. Unsubscribe from most of the blogs you currently follow and focus on those who have solved a problem you are struggling with or look for those who have helped people solve a problem you are struggling with. That includes my blog. Unsubscribe if you find you are not acting on the stuff I write about. It’s wasting your time that could be better spent elsewhere.
2. Pick one blog, read one article and then act on one thing that was mentioned in the article. DO NOT read anything else until you put your action into motion and have come to some sort of conclusion on the action you have taken.
2. I see dead people my flaws
This is not a Paleo issue, but it relates to my success with Paleo and I believe this is a big problem for many of us, male or female. I have struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. Now I don’t mean that in a, sit in my room and bawl my eyes out kind of way. I simply mean I am very critical of my own appearance and focus on what’s wrong rather than what is right.
Consequently I default to what I haven’t accomplished rather than all the positive strides I have made.
Case in point…when I first posted the after pic below, I would get emails about my “6-pack”. I would be thinking, “Are you freaking kidding me. Are you even looking at the picture? At best I have a 2.34 pack. Unless there is a new metric-imperial conversion system I am unaware of, there is no way that translates into a 6 pack.”
But the other thing that I see every time I look at the pic is (see the white circle below)…
What isn’t working!
And quite frankly that is my biggest challenge on this whole journey.
For 30+ years I have had a default setting in my head that immediately points to everything that is wrong with me. My mission is to blow up that mechanism in my mind that controls this. That will be a lifelong battle, but the tide is turning. I am winning more of those battles then I lose (provided I continue to remain consistent and do those things I know I must to have success).
Recommendation…
1. This is a bit unconventional, but I will tell you something I never did in the past. I started helping others even though I didn’t have all the answers myself. The faster you stop making this all about you and committing to paying it forward, the faster you will begin to change how you see yourself.
2. I talk about my problem in the past tense. The brilliance of this is I continuously reinforce the fact that I have solved this problem; that I know I control it. It does not control me. I am not a victim to weight gain. You can start that now with something as simple as changing the message you put out in the world.
3. Create an elevator pitch that re-frames how you talk about your challenges. Tony Horton (from P90X) uses the phrase, “I presently struggle with…” I love that phrase because it implies the struggle is not permanent. It will be overcome.
3. I still get cravings…
There is this myth out there that once we go Paleo cravings vanish. That has NOT been the case for me at all. I get cravings all the freaking time. In fact last night I was watching an episode of Grimm and one of the main characters was eating a big-ass cookie. I suddenly felt like I was in an episode of Sesame Street channeling the Cookie Monster. My inner sugar heckler was like, “Cookies! We want cookies!”
I didn’t go get cookies (I had blueberries instead) but there was a big internal battle raging inside my noggin. And this happens frequently. I have had days where I find myself at a local corner store prowling the isles looking for something that I can have. Sometimes I cave and buy something, but I have many occasions where I will spend 10 minutes in a store fondling various treats only to leave empty handed.
My point here is to make you aware that while I get cravings a lot, I have taught myself to deal with them more effectively so I don’t abuse my 3 treats/week rule I have for myself. You can see that video –> here and here.
Recommendations…
1. TV is a huge trigger that most people totally underestimate. TV activates a lot of unconscious triggers and mindless eating (I also talk more on this in my book in shift #11 when I talk about “Losing your Mindlessness”.) While NO ONE ever discusses this on the Paleo journey, if you are looking at leaning out your life, drastically limit the TV you watch. And when you are watching start tracking what triggers it activates in you and begin to create strategies to deal with those.
2. Some people are more predisposed to cravings than others. Don’t accept this notion that your cravings will magically disappear. It really depends on your genetic make up, mindset, and the stress you have in your life. All of these play a role in cravings. Cravings are normal for many people when you factor in the other triggers that set them off.
3. Don’t lean on your cravings as an excuse to justify your crappy eating choices. What I mean is STOP telling your poor me victim story. What I have taught myself to do is simply accept the fact I will have cravings. No tantrums. No drama. It just is what it is. Now I aim to find strategies to deal with cravings. For instance, the best thing I ever did was put systems in place that allowed me to deal with them. I cover that in Shift #4 in my book in fact. That chapter is titled “Abort! System Failure.”
4. Remember most experts talk from their own experience and the ONE big mistake I see many make is assuming, “Well this is how it was for me so this is how it should be for you.” That is horribly flawed thinking, but when we are desperate for solutions to our problems we by-pass our common sense lobe (look at me, I am making up new parts to the human brain) and buy into faulty logic. So tread carefully my amigos and realize we are all as unique as your DNA.
4. Paleo success doesn’t travel in a straight line
This is something I have just recently discovered. Paleo success is not like calculating monthly interest on $5000. In some ways it resembles something that looks more like the stock market because it is very volatile at the beginning.
But what I now know to be true is that whatever we start out doing with our particular Paleo template is only going to take us so far and then we are going to plateau. That might be 10 lbs from our ideal look or it could be 100lbs from our ideal look.
My main point is to say that in my case, what I did for the first year is NO LONGER enough to get me to the next level I want to achieve. And this is where the art or dare I say an alchemy of Paleo comes into play. BUT lets not kid ourselves. That is also where IMMENSE FRUSTRATION lies as well.
Most of use approach body transformation like a fly on a window pain. We just keep butting our heads against that pane thinking, “I just need to be patient.” But I have learned in my case at least, patience is a nice way to say I am idiot to keep doing the same stuff over and over again for years on end in some cases, thinking something miraculous will happen.
Recommendations…
1. Think of Paleo like software design. You put out your BETA-version of YOU 1.0 and then you test it for about 30 days and then tweak accordingly. Then put out YOU 2.0. Just remember that this is a lifelong journey so there is no cap on what version you will become. This is about constant lifetime improve. [Example...Think Apple and the iPad. The third generation is now out, but that third generation could not exist if the first generation didn't exist to be improved upon.]
2. This is not a 30-day problem. You need to wrap your head around the idea that you are embarking on a lifelong journey of continual renewal.
3. Assess what you have been doing to this point. How long have you been doing it? Has it worked? Honestly if you have been doing something for 30 days and you can’t see any tangible benefits then one of two problems exists. You either don’t have any indicators in place to accurately assess your progress or what you are doing isn’t working and you are in need of a pivot (not abandoning of the Paleo philosophy.
5. Some Paleo Conventional Wisdom is incomplete…
In their efforts to help people, experts (myself included although I should NOT be considered an expert) tend to give out some misguided advice. Now let me preface this by saying their intentions are completely noble, but they do understand the complexity of the very solution they suggest.
Case in point: Listen to your body.
I heard that a lot at Paleo FX and I agree. We need to listen to our body. But here is the problem…
What does that mean? This is an example of giving good advice which is completely useless for most people.
Let me give you an appropriate analogy to help put this in perspective…the car or specifically my car (that I have since sold).
Every time I would take my car in to my mechanic, he would always jump in and take it for a test drive. I would accompany him on these trips and this is how the conversion would almost always go.
Mechanic: Do you feel that? There is a slight pull to the right? Your wheels are out of alignment.
Dean: They are?
Mechanic: Did you notice your brake pads don’t grab right away when we stop. Your pads are running thin.
Dean: They are?
Mechanic: The clutch has a lot of play in it.
Dean: It does?
Mechanic: You feel that vibration when we stop suddenly. There might be a warp in your rotors.
Dean: There is?
I think you can see the pattern here. I don’t know jack about cars.
Now what my mechanic could say is, “Dean you need to listen to your car.” But here is the conundrum. I have no idea what I am listening for. I know nothing about cars so even if I listened, I wouldn’t know what I was supposed to be listening to unless it was “punch me in the face” obvious which includes things like…
- it won’t start when I turn the key
- flames blast out from underneath the hood
- a tire comes off while I am driving
Aside from those situations, asking me to listen to my car is terrible advice until you break down scenarios and break down what I need to be listening to in each situation.
So back to the Paleo crowd. Most of us have bodies that are so out of whack (like my poor car) that we no longer know what normal is.
For example, I have mentioned on numerous occasions that I had no idea bloating wasn’t normal. I was bloated after every meal when I was a vegetarian. One of the first things I discovered when I went Paleo was that my bloating ceased. But I didn’t discover that right away because no one told me I should be looking for that.
Now if I was asked to listen to my body when I was still a vegetarian it would have been a complete waste of time. I had been living with a body that was so badly aligned for 20 years that I did not know what was normal and what wasn’t anymore.
And that is the crux of the problem with that advice. People have no clue what they are supposed to listen for. What needs to happen is someone has to breakdown that very general (but good) advice into something tangible that people can act on.
Here is an example of something that I just recently discovered for me. I had ice cream as a treat. While I love ice cream it is a food that makes me fat so it isn’t something I can have often. But here is what I noticed the last time I had it.
- I awoke with a slight headache (which I rarely ever have)
- I had pain and stiffness in my surgically repaired left knee which I have not had happen in ages
Now I can’t assume that this is a direct result of my diary intake, but now I have something to listen for next time I have it. If this turns out to be true, I will tell you know ice cream and I will be dividing our assets and going our separate ways (sorry Ben and Jerry don’t even ask me to take you back. You are literally a pain!)
The bigger picture…
I actually have 12 other points I didn’t write about so if you are interested I will follow up with a few more posts in this series. You can let me know if this is worth pursuing by doing the following…
- tweet this bad boy
- share on
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Just know that we each have our own path in Paleo. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can tell us what that path will look like. That is for each of us to determine as we go forth with this. This is NO right way to do it and your results and experiences are worth 1oo times more than anything I or any other “expert” can tell you.
Now go, make shift happen.
DD
Dean Dwyer is the founder of Being Primal and the author of the book, Make Shift Happen: Change how you look by changing how you think. When he is not making shift happen, he is helping others do just that.
Thank you so much for the start of this series. (You know you now have to finish it if someone says it’s a series, right? lol) It is just the right message that I have been needing right now.
I will actually re-read it a couple more times to make sure the message sinks in and I am able to focus and take away as much info as possible.
Thank you so much for helping me make shi(f)t happen.
ha ha Michael i think I might have set myself up there ha ha! I might even suggest you print it off! And highlight some of the things that are meaningful to you.
Super awesome post! I hope you will post more about this subject because it is one that many, many people struggle with.
As for the ice cream….did you know that many manufacturers use GLUTEN to thicken ice cream? Just something to think about.
Keep up the great posts!
Well on many levels ice cream is horrible Trecia and I didn’t realize gluten was part of the equation although I am not surprised…but I realized after I wrote that post that I am probably going to banish it from my diet…although I do need to have it one more time to reinforce my theories.
Ice cream will always be a necessity for me! It’s something I adore and quite honestly, need.
But I found an ice cream place – Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream – located in OH, but they ship – it’s incredibly expensive ($12/pint plus shipping) but she uses grass-fed cream, goat cheese, milk, etc. It’s not raw milk, and she still uses sugar, but it’s one step in the right direction for me! 
It’s so rich and complex – I call it “ice cream for adults” – that you really only need a spoonful or two. If I’m gonna eat ice cream, it’s gonna be this! I want to contact her to see if she would want to experiment with a Paleo ice cream someday… hmm. For now, she put out a recipe book last summer and I’m excited to Paleo-ize some of my favorites – like Goat Cheese and Cognac Figs – ridiculous. And so worth the splurge.
This was a really great post! A lot of what you said really resonates with me. I am still working on my first Whole30 and tweaking what works for me so I’m not at the point where I know what to listen for. I have found a few things that work (for now) and things that don’t and I’m working with those things. I am extremely self critical as well, no matter how far I get I will most likely never think it is good enough, it’s a vicious cycle! Thanks for working through some of the issues I’ve had on my mind for me!
Most of us dont’ know what we are listening for Nicole. I remember when I was teaching I went to a free conference one summer and one of the instructors was talking about social skills…where other teachers would tell their students to cooperate…he would teach how to cooperate by breaking down what cooperation looked like and sounded like…I was blown away…of all the things I ever did in my teaching career that free course was the most valuable…changed my whole direction!!
I love your blog. Every post helps me “get it” a little more, and I often refer family and friends here when trying to convert them. Looking forward to the rest of the series
Oh boy that is a lot of pressure Amber..ha ha! Perhaps I should start by doing a shout out at the start of each blog to Amanda’s peeps?? I might just have to do the sequel to this!!
Awesome article! So much of it resonates with me! I watched that same episode of Grimm and thought, “Too bad that guy isn’t eating paleo. Now he’s subject to whatever magic the evil creature put in the cookie.” And indeed he did suffer hallucinations. Good thing eating a cookie doesn’t do that to the rest of us.
Oh no ellen…you know you have drank the Paleo kool-aid when you watch a tv show and wish the characters were eating paleo…haha!
Dean, I really appreciate your weekly posts and your thoughtful commentary on Paleo. I like your recommendation to find someone who is writing about their successes (and challenges!) that are similar to your own. Are you aware of anyone who is/has dealt with insulin dependent diabetes and immune system (pain) issues? I’m looking forward to the continuation of this series.
Hey Emma you have called my bluff. I don’t knwo anyone with those particular symptoms but that is one thing I am working on in fact with my buddy Kevin Cottrell…trying to collect those stories.
Another great post! You always manage to give the greatest advice on how to work our way through this “shift” and I for one really appreciate that.
Oh I like how you used the word shift Beverly!!!! Thanks for appreciating that. Would you mind talking to my friends and telling them that as well…they are much less appreciative
Dean,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am a Paleo newbie (6 months into this journey) & I am absolutely in the ‘information overload’ trap. It is in my nature to try to find & absorb as much information as possible, but I have found myself recently doubting what has worked for me so far – simply because this guru says ‘do this, not that’ & the next guru says the exact opposite. I need to remember to keep it simple & go with what works for me for now…at least until the debut of Me 2.0! Thanks for all you do & I look forward to the ‘next installment’ in this series!
To be fair Lydia we all fall into the overload trap! I didn’t write this in this post but that is on my list…it’s hard when Dr can’t agree…what are we supposed to do right? The simplicity thing is harder said then done but I really believe there are 5 or so key things that if we did them consistently would yield spectacular results.
Lydia, Amen.
I am at 2 months in and it feels like my brain is going to explode! I keep finding conflicting stuff out there and it is mega-frustrating. I like your “Keep it Simple and Go With What Works” approach. I just have to remember that this is not a quick weight loss miracle, lol, but a healing, life-long journey. Trial and error take time, but it’s so worth it!
I am fortunate that I don’t find Paleo hard. But I absolutely agree with your message. I am still working on losing weight and healing the damage done by eating a SAD diet for 42 years. I have been Paleo since August, 2011 and I can’t imagine ever going back to the way I used to eat. But I know I’m not “done”. I am still discovering things that turn on that little light bulb in my brain. Just last week I finally got the message that the dark chocolate I had been indulging in was causing sinus problems. Several months ago, that would have been an acceptable trade to be able to enjoy chocolate. Now I simply won’t tolerate it. Chocolate is outta here.
I am looking forward to the rest of the series. I find your point of view refreshing.
That’s a great insight Heather…hope others read that…and brilliant too that it is no longer an acceptable trade off. i use the same logic as well with pizza and bread…the trade off isn’t an acceptable choice for me. and thanks for that last line! Much appreciated.
Dean at his best!
… You show me, that i have to stop lie to myself. I have to make shift happen and start with ME 2.0
Like always: honest, true, pure.
Thats why i hate you my friend
Please dont stop!
ha ha Egon I love it. The good hate that is!! I look forward to meeting EGON 2.0.
Such a helpful post! I would love to see more of the points you mentioned.
I might continue it next week Becky!! Stay tuned.
Very, very nice, because it is true! Our own stories, our own bodies, our own experiences on the journey will make stuff workable for us or not. Keep it up!
Well worded Erin. Be careful though…u are sounding smarter than me and then that happens I have to ban you gurl ha ha! I’m kidding of course. Brilliant insight.
Have you ever seen the movie, “The Princess Bride?” Great movie. Anyway, at one point Inigo says, “Let me explain. No, that would take too long. Let me sum up.” You did the explaining, and I did the summing up. There is much more to take away from the explaining than the summing up.
OH I love Princess Bride…again brilliant analogy…oh and strike too on the making Dean look dumb checklist gurl!! ha ha!
Haha, you would bring Princess Bride into this
Great post, Dean!
My philosophy of life comes mostly from the original Star Trek, Princess Bride, the Golden Rule, and the idea that Nice Matters!
Hi Dean
First of all, thanks for saying what a lot others won’t. I started the Paleo/Primal lifestyle January 1st of this year and have since lost 25 pounds. Hooray! Except, I am evidently the exception to the rule. The anomaly, the small percent of people who DO NOT DROP SIXTY POUNDS OVER NIGHT BY SIMPLY AVOIDING GRAINS, WHEAT AND LEGUMES!! Forgive the shouting but I haven’t boxed yet today so I haven’t had an outlet yet 
Everyone told me to limit fruit, so I did. But I didn’t (pardon the word) poop. I literally didn’t poop for days. I was eating tons of veggies, lots of healthy fat, but nothing was happening. I started eating fruit and wouldn’t you know it?! I still have people tell me I eat too much fruit, but I would prefer to eat fruit and poop everyday and lose two-three pounds a week than lose weight but feel bloated and lose five pounds a week.
In conclusion, you rock, thanks for posting about stuff you think of, making me laugh, smile, and bringing a different face to a different life style. And your stomach rocks
So hearing you on this one Brandee! I lost 8 pounds right away, but then it slowwwwwwwwed down. I also choose to eat fruit, even though everyone suggests to limit it a lot if you are trying to loose a lot of weight (60lbs in my case). Sorry, but I love fruit (and it helps with my sweetness cravings), and even if I loose slower I’m not giving it up!
It’s all about finding what works for us regardless of what the “experts” say…great for you Brandee for clearing your own path. Awesome!
Thanks for another post that is spot on and made me think about what I am actually doing, again. So, I have been on the Paleo/Primal plan for 1 year and 2 months now. I have tweaked the food to the point I think I have that “down” for now. The thing that is not necessarily working for me? The body image still sucks. Just something else to work on.
Yeah and that isn’t a quick fix solution either Maryann. One of the things I am slowly working on is the language I use to describe myself…Oh and I use the mirror everyday to see where i am at…it’s the complete opposite of what I did for the last 25 years when I avoided the mirror completely.
I like the way Paleo is mellowing and growing wiser with age. Phase 1: teenage fanaticism and uniformity. Phase 2: thoughtful insights and individualism.
Dean, along with Laura’s Paleo Women are Phat, your post resonates deep. Great week in Paleo!
Well I must give Laura credit for getting this conversation rolling….but I also figured NO males would say there were struggling (we aren’t supposed to talk that way) so I figured I would get real and tell my story.
Awesome post, thanks for making me feel normal and sane as I make my way in this journey. It’s so interesting, the point you make about television consumption, before I read your article I committed to only allowing myself 30 minutes of tv daily for the month of April. Then after reading this post it felt like a confirmation of being on the right track. This is a bigger challenge than being strict Paleo for me. I think I will spend the additional 1 1/2 hours reading or walking, or both!Thanks for your blatant honesty and authentic passion.
That’s very smart with the TV set up Chriss!! Brilliant in fact. Here I was thinking I was being original when u beat me to the punch!! Aprreciate that last sentence. THanks!
Yes, please give us the other 12 points!
Will expand on this next week if the response continues as it has. Clearly people are frustrated and this helps them feel that they are in fact normal.
Wow, I SO needed this post today! I started my Paleo journey back in January and was rocking it for the first 2 months. I had lost 16 lbs, and had been successfully eating at least 80/20- if not 90/10… then life happened, (as it does) and these crazy cravings started up! It is so hard to not give in to those stupid cravings (yes, I am a Paleo person that still has cravings too). I have found that even though I try not to give into them all the time, when I do, it creates this slow spiral. I have found, at least for me, that if I “cheat” with crappy carbs or dairy that I crave them more and more. I know it is not realistic to assume that I won’t ever cheat again, but trying to work this whole system out for yourself is f—ing hard! So, alas, I continue my journey and am working on ME 2.0… time for a re-boot!
I have a saying Laura that bad carbs crave bad carbs…and yes that damn life does happen…roboot it is gurl!! Keep me posted would ya
Two things I liked about this post, Dean, well I liked more than two but these are the main hits for me. One the TV. Ugh. There are so many ads of scrumptious looking food. They make me feel like I’m missing something. I never watch TV live now, only DVR so I can skip those ads.
The second is that we shouldn’t rationalize ourselves out of Paleo and lower our expectations because of the struggles other people, especially the ‘leaders’ of the paleo movement, are having. Every single person reading this is doing so because their ancestors were as tough as bloody nails. They were absolute hard nuts to survive famine, disease and unbelievable hardship.
To come from such tough stock means that we have the ancestral heritage to be just as tough and work and tweak and experiment until we find our own successful paleo prescription.
Liked point number 2…which I also talked about above. The point of the post was to ensure people struggle is normal…but it does not in any way indicate defeat…the opposite in fact.
Great post Dean. Yes paleo is really hard, but I think *not* being paleo is even harder. Sure I’ve had to give up some stuff, but as I see family and friends deal with many health problems because they refuse to take matters into their own hands, then I realize it’s not that hard. It’s easier than being in a hospital bed, dying of congestive heart failure or diabetic complications or a host of other things because you’ve been poisoning your body for many years with “healthy whole grains” and “low-fat” frankenfood and awful vegetable oils.
What’s helped me is to put on my filters. Like you said, don’t subscribe to every dang paleo blog out there. I’ve picked a handful that I read regularly and they’re mostly by people who make me laugh, who don’t take themselves too terribly seriously (even if they are serious about their health), and they have realistic expectations of what being healthy means (it’s not about the number on the tag of your jeans, but it’s about living an optimal life).
Keep the great posts coming! You’re one of my handful of bloggers that I do read regularly for all the reasons I’ve posted above!
So out of curiousity Alice you do you subscribe to. I loved how you defined the people you follow…that’s similar to my approach as well.
Love this post. Love all your points. Would love to hear more.
Will do. Stay tuned next friday Melissa!!
Great post! Look forward to reading the rest in your series!
thanks megan. Stay tuned next week then.
All I can say is you sooo get it! Love your blog!
I do get it don’t i? ha ha! Thanks Laura!! I try to keep it real.
Great post and thanks for reminding all of us that everyone struggles. I’ve lost a great deal of weight but have been fighting up and down with 3-5 pounds for about 15 months. I keep trying different things but nothing “works”. I’m actually pretty devoted to Paleo/primal eating and almost never “cheat”. I exercise 6 days a week and yet I still stuggle. I read all these blogs and books and think why does everyone else get it right but me? It’s nice to see that it really isn’t just me – we all face challenges and it is a journey that we keep improving on day by day. Keep the great posts coming!
I love how you worded that Allison…why does everyone else seem to get it but me…that’s so true…the truth is everyone struggles but people are afraid to say they do because they think it makes them less of an “expert.”
Great post, Dean. “Listen to your body” is such faulty/ambiguous advice. Dr. Eades touches on it here on his blog:
http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/ketones-and-ketosis/tips-tricks-for-starting-or-restarting-low-carb-pt-i/
Btw, I feel like a truck hit me in the morning if I have ice cream the night before! Bad stuff.
Thanks for the link Jay. Will definitely check that out. And yeah it’s funny that this is the first time I have ever noticed that ice cream has an impact on me…but now that i know, it will help me rationalize my decision to not have it any more. Data is good!!!
Amazing insight. Can’t wait for more. I have been spending a good portion of time knowing that I need to make changes to see more results. I can’t complain AT ALL about my first 6 months Paleo… My body and physical abilities have changed drastically. There’s more I want to achieve if I can get my head, heart and body firing at the same time!! Damn right it’s hard. (I also don’t know why I always read this stuff at night… Can’t sleep after this!!)
ha ha Ginni. Maybe I should post early morning instead. Just to share my own insight with this…1. I’m on a 10 year plan now…testing ideas weekly to (or daily to see what works and what doesn’t) knowing that the long term goal is sustainability of results. And 6 months is like pregnancy…the real work starts after you give birth.
Told you I couldn’t sleep. So i just realized what I equate your writing to. It’s like going to the fireworks as a little kid. You’re not sure that you want to go because it scared you last time. But you do because you just can’t miss it. Some are quiet but powerful with color and sparkle. Others are so loud and bright (those obnoxious ones like a canon) that scare the crap out of you. There’s the rush of wondering what’s next coupled with sheer exhaustion from the anxiety. Oh, and some covering of the ears. But you always leave with a smile a little sad it’s over and knowing you’ll be back. (thank goodness for independence day!). You spend the car ride home replsying it all in your head. Same when I read all of your
blog posts. A little weird I know. Meant as a compliment. Pretty cool stuff.
It is weird G…but a good weird…maybe my new nickname should be firecracker! ha ha! Thanks! Great compliment.
“Listen to your body.” I have always thought that was the biggest load of crap for people who are overweight. How do we know whats right and wrong? People need specifics at first so they can actually tell whats right and whats wrong.
I honestly related to every single point you talked about and hope to see a follow up. You seem to be writing about topics that are almost taboo to the paleosphere. You aren’t focusing on the diet and exercise, but the greatest resource and hindrance, our minds.
Thanks Dean,
David| Ohio
Well David, I love what you wrote. Interestingly I’m not overly concerned whether my writing is taboo or not but I do think there are a number of bloggers out there who are unsure how to take me.
I’m not worried though because I’m more interested in helping people…not helping bloggers (actually that is not true…there are a number of bloggers I am looking forward to helping).
But I think there is a taboo in general of people talking about their struggles. And you are right…i do not believe this is a diet and exercise issue simply because I was pretty good with both of those elements for 25 years and got know where.
I compare it more to golf now…good clubs and a good swing doesn’t mean much if you can’t put it together in a tournament….that’s where the between the ears stuff comes into play.
I liked your post Dean as it touches upon some in-depth stuff. Having never been overweight (former swimmer, remember) I, nonetheless, suffered from pains and aches all over my body, in addition to facial spots. Discovering paleo nearly 3 years ago, and then primal, has made a world of difference to my health. I still succumb to ice-cream and cupcakes and cookies, but the outcomes make me feel so rubbish that I just dust myself off and get on with my life. You see, I don’t beat myself up and just accept that life is not perfect so why should I be? I know that not having to struggle with my weight puts me in a very different position to a lot of people but if I can send a message out, it would be just that: when you fall off the wagon, just pick yourself up and forget about it. Don’t get caught in the “guilt trip” – it’s simply not worth it.
Agree Olivia…I would go one step further though and say that we have to teach ourself to not get caught up in guilt…which isn’t easy…but can and must be done if we are hoping to create sustainable change…so for me now…my success comes from my ability to recover from failure…so that is where my focus now always goes.
This is actually the first of your posts that I’ve read -maybe “f$@king hard” got my attention! I’m even commenting before I go and read Phat girls-though I did watch your first cheat video- then came back here…thanks for being honest and creating authentic community. Jack Kruse said, at PaleoFx, that you are the real deal and his bog is one I won’t be giving up soon – too much to learn and experiment with.
That being said, I’m very new to all this – middle of 1/2012- and am one of the females that has put on inches instead of losing them. However, I am beginning to get my energy back and sleeping better (thanks to Dr. Kruse). I think I’ll be thanking you for helping to change/clean out old thinking from my mind.
In the meantime, thanks for your passion to get our attention about really serious stuff.
Hmm maybe that will be my thing…every blog post title will have a curse word in it…I can call it “Filthy Paleo”?? ha ha! If Jack says I am the real deal then I think we have to believe him
Actually I heard he said that…was very kind of him to say…and no…dont’ unsubscribe from his for sure…
Hey Dean,
Awesome post! I can totally relate to being overwhelmed with blogs and tweets and facebook entries from the paleo world. I just went into Twitter and eliminated almost all of the paleo people I was following. (except for you, of course!) It was making me nuts and eating up valuable time, to boot. It reminds me of when I used to subscribe to magazines like Shape, which had different exercise and food plans every single month. I know that’s the nature of a magazine, but it did me no good at all. Just created confusion and frustation.
And yes – the freakin’ TV. I’ve been recording everything for many years, so I’m not subjected to commercials, but the quality of my days is noticably better when I limit my TV watching to an hour or so a day. Sometimes I just want to flop in front of the TV and mentally check-out, and those are the most dangerous days because I want to checkout with some mindless eating, too. They go hand in hand. I can’t acutally sit down and eat a bag of chips unless I’m sitting in front of my TV. Maybe I should just go take a nap instead. Or a walk.
Lisa May! Such a great pleasure to chat with you on Saturday!!! Really, so enjoyable. I’m constantly uncluttering my blogs and twitterers etc…so I hear ya….and like you I like tv too for checking out from time to time…nothing wrong with that…just need to be mindful of what I am jamming in my pie-hole.
Love this post! Going over to FB to delete. I do follow way too many Paleo blogs and feel like I need so much time to read it all. Thanks for simplifying it for me. Now I will have time to read and comprehend the few important ones I follow including you of course.
NISSA!!!! wow it has been a long time since I have seen you in these parts…welcome back!! And I appreciate you didn’t take my bad advice about unsubscribing from my own blog
I, too, think the advice to “listen to your body” is hooey. I spent the better part of my life “listening,” and it told me all kinds of crazy things
Love to advice to filter out some of the blog noise — going to do that right now.
Melissa Joulwan…its’ not so much the advice is bad it is given by people that don;t really know how that actually happens…so it makes us feel like idiots because we dont’ know what the heck we should be listening for. I see your book is still rockin it on Amazon. For those who don’t know Melissa published the cook book Well Fed!!! Check it out. It rocks!!
http://www.amazon.com/Well-Fed-Paleo-Recipes-People/dp/061557226X/ref=pd_rhf_ee_shvl2
Dean! Yes , please continue with this series. I learn so much from you. I don’t think you realize how much impact your ideas are having on those of us who read your “stuff”. Thank you for being so honest and for caring enough to share your thoughts!
Barbara can I direct people to you when they want to know what I do?
This was a good one for me to hear right now. awesome.
Great to hear Amanda!!!
Great post as always Dean.
It’s reassuring to learn the even you find it hard and, in particular for me, that you have the sort of arguments in your head that I do re whether to cheat or not. I find it easy to fall into the trap of thinking that people who have been successful are just different and I’m just not destined to be one of them.
So many sites/blogs only focus on what to do and not the how – particularly not the how of dealing with stress and comfort eating. I have no doubt that physical cravings disappear quite rapidly if you stick to a Paleo diet, however, its the psychological cravings that are the killer.
Since starting my Paleo journey, I’ve come to realise how much comfort eating I do, whereas I used to think I was immune. I was able to hide it from myself because I am not overweight and I often reach for caffeine more than calories, but it amounts to the same thing – using a mood altering substance for a quick fix.
After spending last Friday night eating a family block of chocolate and drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself after the rest of my household had gone to bed, I had to admit I’ve got to develop better coping strategies. I’ve been madly googling and still having found a good alternative (somehow when I’m stressing about the possibility of being made redundant the option of spending 20 mins meditating doesn’t quite have the appeal of chocolate and alcohol).
If you have any bright ideas I would love the hear them.
- Isabella
Hey Isabella…you were bang on with this comment “I have no doubt that physical cravings disappear quite rapidly if you stick to a Paleo diet, however, its the psychological cravings that are the killer.”
Might I suggest you forget Google and start working on the Isabella approach…
It starts with hypothesizing reasons that caused the chocolate,wine binge in the first place…create a list of possibilities…identify the most probable and then create a strategy to test to see if that works…
i’m simplifying this somewhat but google won’t give you the answer…your mental google will…
Wine and chocolate are just a quick fix when you are feeling stressed and problems all seem too hard.
I was craving chocolate on Tuesday afternoon but held out and just had a cup of tea (still not ideal as I am trying to stay off caffeine). Then I got stuck back into work and realised about an hour later that I had forgotten all about being stressed.
It made me remember something a yoga teacher once said in class – that emotions are fleeting, they change from moment to moment. So, perhaps it’s something to think about next time I go for the wine and chocolate, that although they make me feel better temporarily, time will do the same thing and without messing up my sleep, my insulin levels and upping my body fat percentage.
Thanks Dean
Hi Dean, great post as always…food for thought. It does get overwhelming with so much info out there and so many varying opinions of what works for an individual. We must remember that we are indeed ‘individuals’ and once you find what works for you DON”T MESS WITH IT, unless of course it stops working and then you need to look at your life and be more critical and make some changes. The way I deal with this confusion out there…I pulled away.
I backed off of reading blogs, paricipating in groups and reading literature. I know what works for me and if I am honest with myself I ALWAYS know where I am going wrong when it stops working.
Except your blog Dean…I always read it and appreciate your honesty and integrity. ((hugs))
Laurie anne!!! How are you? I like the pull away concept…in sports they call that getting back to basics…which is exactly what we all need to keep getting back to and that starts with eliminating information overload. I thanks you for recognizing qualities I have worked hard to pretend I have
Per previous comment, agree–Jeni’s ice cream is the only indulgence worth having, the only one I’m not sorry about afterwards.
Dean! I just found you and your fabulous abs today.
I’m so new to Paleo. As in just a couple of weeks. Your blog is already helping me. Thanks for the terrific information and your ability to encourage people, no matter where they are at on their journey. I’ll be checking back for the rest of the series. Love it!
Great post!
I am a Paleo newbie (4 weeks in) and was glad to see I was not the only one dying for a cookie after watching that Grimm episode.
That was probably the worst craving I have had since making this lifestyle change. It’s been a lot easier than I thought and I can’t believe how great I feel in such a short amount of time.
I know this is going to make me sound like an incomprehensible weirdo, but the following is actually how I solved the difficulties of finding the right diet for myself. First, weigh or measure all food and use nutrition software; it is the only way to really see what is happening. Second, and I know that this requires more self-discipline than most people have, instantly give in to all cravings without any more delay than it takes to be sure of what you really want. Although counter-intuitive, think of it this way: If you have a child, you want your child to be able to function autonomously and be able to solve most problems on its own. Yes, you will hang around to try to prevent any serious mistakes, but if you try to prevent ALL mistakes, the child will never learn to solve any problems. Likewise, we want our unconscious or subconscious minds to make sensible food choices without our conscious intervention, so we stop trying to control ourselves. I call it “sinking to a lower level of consciousness,” in the same way that after we learn to drive a car, our bodies take over and we don’t have to think much about driving. The nutrition software and weighing or measuring food are like the dashboard gauges our subconscious mind can then use to plot its own course, whatever its own course might be–and just like our child, we give it its head, so to speak, so it can plot its own course.
Dean, that may be my all-time favorite picture of you. Pure art.
I had a tendency to let myself off the hook by thinking, “I could NEVER give up bread! I’d rather starve to death than go grain-free!” And I really believed it! I’ve had great success giving up grains and I haven’t starved to death.
Dairy? Not yet. I’ve cut way back and only use raw dairy from a trusted source, but I’m not sure I’m getting warning signs from my body that I need to eliminate it entirely.
Now, soda…there’s my (temporary, just for now, getting over it) sticking point. I’ve broken that addiction a dozen times in my life and it’s come back stronger every time. The last time, drinking kombucha helped. A gal’s gotta have something tasty to drink after her first gallon of water in the day. And my weakest point is in the car (I spend 4-6 hours a day in the car most days) when I get thirsty. A drive-thru soda is so fast, easy and cheap. Yeah, pure poison too.
Why is it that knowing isn’t enough? Why are cravings so much LOUDER than the knowledge of what is good and bad for me? It’s like someone reaching for the bottle under the sink with the skull and crossbones on it! I KNOW BETTER!! Ugh.
Hi Dean
Hi Dean,
Thanks for writing this a lot of brilliant information here. I went from being a skinny teenager to being over 18 stone in less than 5 years mainly through beer and the associated bad food choices. In the past 10 years I have reduced weight to less than 15 stone gone back up to 18 down again and so on. I have tried juices and all sorts. Anyway stumbled on Paleo this past few months and decided to start this week in conjunction with no smoking. I was watching a program on TV last night on why some people get fat. Basically in the western world there are some people with the FTO gene and some who have not got it. The gene inhibits people probably like me from not stopping eating when you are full. Columbia university did an experiment on people over two years they lived in the lab are were overweight they were starved into losing a couple of stones. They put them through a brain scanner after they had consumed the right amount of calories for the day. In the scanner they showed them all kinds of food – the part of the brain was screaming at them they were starving and to consume the food. Long story short whatever weight you end up at in my case 18 stone – my brain is trying to get me back to that weight when I lose a stone or two.
In short you are bang on about TV it triggers every kind of craving through advertising etc. So in the past low carbs reducing the amount is effective to a point but when you eat out or visit friends portions are outside your control you in effect have to exercise will power but your brain is working against you.
That in short is why for certain people the paleo in whatever variant you can fit to your schedule is the workable solution. There is also the ratio 20% exercise 80% diet – I would say you need a score of 16% exercise 60% diet as a way of life and not short term measure.
I suppose repeated failures have delivered me to the realisation and windows for treats downtime work for some but not for me. As you say there is a truck load of guru’s ready to relieve you of cash for the magic formulae. The only formulae is say you cannot stay eating the foods that got you fat in the first place and expect to reach your target weight – if you are lucky enough to reach the target weight and then start reintroducing the self same foods again you will be back to square one.
I think weight management is the ultimate game of snakes and ladders.